Message to C.
I quit this blog but it doesn't mean my physical oonditions are not good.
I'm doing well and enjoying my life. See you.
【英語 笑い話の最新記事】
2011年09月10日
今日でお別れ
長年のご愛読ありがとうございました。笑っていただける方が余りいらっしゃらないようですので、今日をもちまして、このブログを終了させていただきます。笑えなくても、英語力だけはアップされたことを期待しています。
Message to C.
I quit this blog but it doesn't mean my physical oonditions are not good.
I'm doing well and enjoying my life. See you.
Message to C.
I quit this blog but it doesn't mean my physical oonditions are not good.
I'm doing well and enjoying my life. See you.
【笑い話】 ワイン
I was nervous at the night my husband and I brought our three young sons to an upscale restaurant for the first time. My husband ordered a bottle of wine with the meal. When the server brought it, our children became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking. She poured a small amount for me to taste, and then our six-year-old piped up, "Mom usually drinks a lot more than that!"
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
業界初の試み！フィリピンライブチャットでフィリピーナと出会えるインターネットフィリピンパブ。
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
業界初の試み！フィリピンライブチャットでフィリピーナと出会えるインターネットフィリピンパブ。
2011年09月09日
【笑い話】 サバイバルゲーム
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and three kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and take either music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man must take care of his three kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget money for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives and send cards out on time--no emailing.
Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment, and a haircut appointment.
He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.
He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.
Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside, and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will have access to television only when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, and keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.
During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps and back aches and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
They must attend weekly school meetings and church and find time at least once each week to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth, and comb their hair by 7:00 a.m.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothing size, and doctor's name. He also must know the child's weight and length at birth, time of birth, and length of labor; and each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, and biggest fear. He also will know what they all want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if he still has enough energy to spend quality time with his spouse at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years, eventually earning the right to be called Mother!
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
・・・・・
Useful Expressiions
wear makeup
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリックしよう！
こだわりぬいた、良質のアンティークからファッションまでトータルで提案するお店です。新品の衣料も充実しております。今後も新しい商品を積極的に販売していきますので、ぜひサイトをご覧下さい。一点ものが多数の為、毎日チェックして下さるお客様が多いです。
お部屋やキッチンをおしゃれな家具で素敵に演出してみませんか？当店では おしゃれな家具・インテリア用品をお買い得価格で多数品揃えしております。
Each kid will play two sports and take either music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man must take care of his three kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget money for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives and send cards out on time--no emailing.
Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment, and a haircut appointment.
He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.
He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.
Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside, and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will have access to television only when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, and keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.
During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps and back aches and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
They must attend weekly school meetings and church and find time at least once each week to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth, and comb their hair by 7:00 a.m.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothing size, and doctor's name. He also must know the child's weight and length at birth, time of birth, and length of labor; and each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, and biggest fear. He also will know what they all want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if he still has enough energy to spend quality time with his spouse at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years, eventually earning the right to be called Mother!
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
・・・・・
Useful Expressiions
wear makeup
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリックしよう！
こだわりぬいた、良質のアンティークからファッションまでトータルで提案するお店です。新品の衣料も充実しております。今後も新しい商品を積極的に販売していきますので、ぜひサイトをご覧下さい。一点ものが多数の為、毎日チェックして下さるお客様が多いです。
お部屋やキッチンをおしゃれな家具で素敵に演出してみませんか？当店では おしゃれな家具・インテリア用品をお買い得価格で多数品揃えしております。
2011年09月08日
【笑い話】 メッセージをどうぞ
My daughter Marina worked in my law office while she attended graduate school. One morning a call came in for her. I said she wasn't in yet and offered to take a message. The caller said she'd phone back later.
At 11:00 a.m., the caller tried again, and I reported that Marina had gone to lunch.
The last call came in at 3:30 p.m. "I'm sorry," I said, "she's left for the day. May I take a message?"
"Yes," the caller replied. "How can I get a job with you?"
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリック！
（笑えなかった方は、コメント欄でご質問を！）
★可愛いレンタルサーバLOLIPOP!
【お名前.com レンタルサーバー】月額1,575円/大容量100GB/ドメイン追加無制限
今だけ★初期費用＋最大月額料金3ヶ月分無料！
At 11:00 a.m., the caller tried again, and I reported that Marina had gone to lunch.
The last call came in at 3:30 p.m. "I'm sorry," I said, "she's left for the day. May I take a message?"
"Yes," the caller replied. "How can I get a job with you?"
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリック！
（笑えなかった方は、コメント欄でご質問を！）
★可愛いレンタルサーバLOLIPOP!
【お名前.com レンタルサーバー】月額1,575円/大容量100GB/ドメイン追加無制限
今だけ★初期費用＋最大月額料金3ヶ月分無料！
2011年09月07日
【笑い話】 アップルパイとコーヒー
A man had trouble with his English, so his friend taught him how to say, "Apple pie and coffee," so when on the job, he could order some food at the local restaurant during his lunch hour. This was fine with our man, and he was grateful to his friend, but after several months he wanted a little more variety in his fare. His friend was glad to oblige and taught him how to say, "Ham and cheese sandwich."
The man proudly walked into the restaurant the next day and said to the waitress, "Ham and cheese sandwich."
To which the waitress responded, "White, whole wheat, or rye?"
With shoulders sagging and the smile gone from his face, he answered back, "Apple pie and coffee."
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリックしよう！
年間6000件、業界屈指の症例数 「湘南美容外科」
プチ整形なら南青山メディカル！
ホワイトニングや審美歯科なら湘南美容外科・歯科へ
≪医師・看護士急募≫
芸能人・モデルも通うクリニック
The man proudly walked into the restaurant the next day and said to the waitress, "Ham and cheese sandwich."
To which the waitress responded, "White, whole wheat, or rye?"
With shoulders sagging and the smile gone from his face, he answered back, "Apple pie and coffee."
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリックしよう！
年間6000件、業界屈指の症例数 「湘南美容外科」
プチ整形なら南青山メディカル！
ホワイトニングや審美歯科なら湘南美容外科・歯科へ
≪医師・看護士急募≫
芸能人・モデルも通うクリニック
2011年09月06日
【笑い話】 黄色いカナリア
A lady went to a pet shop.
"I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner.
"We don't have any canaries, but we have these," the owner said, as he showed the lady some pale green parakeets.
"That's not what I'm looking for," the lady stated.
But the pet store owner refused to give up. He said, "Just think of them as yellow canaries that aren't quite ripe yet."
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリックしよう！
（データからすると、笑える方は少ないですね）
共用サーバーの革命！ドメイン追加無制限・驚きの大容量100GB・月額1,575円！
【意外と知らないIT用語】 ドメインって何？ お名前.com
世界にたった一つ、あなただけのドメインを登録しよう！
"I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner.
"We don't have any canaries, but we have these," the owner said, as he showed the lady some pale green parakeets.
"That's not what I'm looking for," the lady stated.
But the pet store owner refused to give up. He said, "Just think of them as yellow canaries that aren't quite ripe yet."
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリックしよう！
（データからすると、笑える方は少ないですね）
共用サーバーの革命！ドメイン追加無制限・驚きの大容量100GB・月額1,575円！
【意外と知らないIT用語】 ドメインって何？ お名前.com
世界にたった一つ、あなただけのドメインを登録しよう！
2011年09月05日
【笑い話】 税控除対象項目
I was watching an old George & Gracie episode last night, and their accountant was trying to figure out some of Gracie's deductions:
Personal expenses: $120 for a wave -- You see, my friend waved, and when I waved back I drove into a tree.
Under health expenses: $50 for a full-length mirror -- That's right, I got it for my father so he wouldn't get pneumonia. You see, before he only had a half-length mirror, so when he went outside he forgot his pants.
$75 for goldfish -- Well, I put the goldfish bowl on the phonograph and turn it on so the goldfish get their exercise without having to swim around.
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリックしよう！
レーシック手術の出来るクリニックの徹底比較
医師も認めた！SBC新宿近視クリニック
Personal expenses: $120 for a wave -- You see, my friend waved, and when I waved back I drove into a tree.
Under health expenses: $50 for a full-length mirror -- That's right, I got it for my father so he wouldn't get pneumonia. You see, before he only had a half-length mirror, so when he went outside he forgot his pants.
$75 for goldfish -- Well, I put the goldfish bowl on the phonograph and turn it on so the goldfish get their exercise without having to swim around.
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリックしよう！
レーシック手術の出来るクリニックの徹底比較
医師も認めた！SBC新宿近視クリニック
2011年09月04日
【笑い話】 税金と国旗
A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars, too!"
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリックしよう！
女性のための厳選された小物は、ポイント使いでかなりおしゃれに楽しめ姫系雑貨をはじめとして、手帳やボールペンなどの文具、カップや時計、傘立てなどの生活雑貨、使って楽しいキッチン用品などなかなかお目にかかれないデザインの物を取り揃えております。姫系雑貨やバラ系雑貨がお好きな方のためのサイトです。
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars, too!"
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリックしよう！
女性のための厳選された小物は、ポイント使いでかなりおしゃれに楽しめ姫系雑貨をはじめとして、手帳やボールペンなどの文具、カップや時計、傘立てなどの生活雑貨、使って楽しいキッチン用品などなかなかお目にかかれないデザインの物を取り揃えております。姫系雑貨やバラ系雑貨がお好きな方のためのサイトです。
2011年09月03日
【笑い話】 野球
A passerby stopped to watch a baseball game taking place at the local park.
"Who's playing?" he asked another observer.
"The Masons against the Knights of Columbus," he responded.
"What's the score?"
"I don't know. It's a secret."
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリックしよう！
北海道最大級！450トンの大水槽から新鮮なカニ・魚介類をお届け！目玉商品は全国一律送料無料！活蟹卸売問屋の老舗が厳選した極上品をお届け致します！
2011年09月02日
【笑い話】 車の故障
Sandra was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing.
The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as Sandra continued to try getting the car to start up again.
Finally Sandra gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her.
"I can't seem to get my car started," Sandra said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you."
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリックしよう！
ダイヤモンド・宝石の査定、鑑定を無料で行っております。当社発送の宅配キットにより全国から無料配送で受付をしております
貸衣装処分品のウェディングドレス・婚礼衣裳から七五三着物、振袖、黒留袖など『借りるよりお得！』をモットーに格安でそろえた通販サイトです。
The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as Sandra continued to try getting the car to start up again.
Finally Sandra gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her.
"I can't seem to get my car started," Sandra said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you."
・・・・・
ワッハッハッハー！ （爆笑）
笑えた方は、下のバナーをクリックしよう！
ダイヤモンド・宝石の査定、鑑定を無料で行っております。当社発送の宅配キットにより全国から無料配送で受付をしております
貸衣装処分品のウェディングドレス・婚礼衣裳から七五三着物、振袖、黒留袖など『借りるよりお得！』をモットーに格安でそろえた通販サイトです。
